Dear Independent Women, Let a Man Be a Man & Court You
A few weeks ago, a colleague of mine told my coworkers and I she had a date with a guy she met on Tinder. This would be her first date with someone she hasn't actually met in-person, but corresponded with via text. That Tuesday morning, eager to hear how the date went, we gathered for a little watercooler chat, so to speak.
Gushing, my 25-year-old coworker told us how much of a gentleman he was. Three years her senior, he told her once her Uber was near the destination to notify him. Upon arrival, she was pleasantly surprised to see that he was outside the restaurant awaiting her. He opened the car door as he greeted her. The romantic night did not stop there. He treated her to dinner and cocktails at Blue Ribbon Sushi (fancy). Basically, it was one of the best dates she’s had in quite a while.
As she reiterated the deets of her date, we all were gushing with happiness. Ooooos and awes filled the office of twentysomething women. While the date sounded great and I'm excited to hear more about this mystery man, one thing stuck out to me. She said, "I offered to pay...."
Ladies, yes I know we live in modern times and you are all about being an independent woman, but it is essential to know the difference between independence and allowing a man to court you. A woman should never offer to pay on the first date. Like Tinder man, the guy that is vying for your attention should pull out all the stops and greet you with an abundance of chivalry acts.
Often we are so busy proving to the world—and men—we don't need a man that we forget to be a woman and allow the man to be a man. There are still men who perform chivalry acts out there. Don't be so blinded by independence that you do not take note of a man who is worth falling back for. It is okay to be vulnerable for the right individual.
I don't often like the advice given by men like Steve Harvey, who can be misogynistic at times. However, there are moments these men make an excellent point. So I'll leave you with this quote from Steve Harvey's book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment, “We get that you've got plenty of money to pay for dinner but sit there and let him pick up the tab, that's what he is suppose to do when he takes a woman on a date.” More importantly, “KNOW THIS: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exchange for your time.”
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