Back to the Basics: When Did (Some)Women Stop Requiring the Bare Minimum?
Earlier today, someone sent me a screen shot of a guy sharing his distaste for having to walk on the outside of a woman. His Facebook status read, “It is 2017. People still care about whether or not men walk close to the street when they’re walking w/ someone of the opposite sex. This is dumb.” See screenshot below.
For those of you who are wondering what the young man is referring to it is the tradition of a woman walking alongside a gentlemen (keyword gentlemen here) left side. This way if a threat should arise or the woman’s honor required defending, the man’s sword hand (his right hand) would be free, giving him access to protect his lady. The behavior then transformed into a woman walking on the “protected side,” whether it be the right or left side, in order to shield the woman from any unpleasantness (ie: passing cars that might splash her with water, danger etc.)
As a woman, I am obviously disturbed by this man’s lack of chivalry. Yes, it is 2017, but what does the year have to do exhibiting basic manners to a woman? So because times has changed that means being courteous and gentlemen like is no longer a thing? However, I am sure that same man wants a woman to take care of the household (cook, clean, etc.), take care of the children as well as stroke his ego. And since it is 2017, there a number of new beauty standards to adhere by (not saying you have to but for shits and giggle lets say we do). Women have to do the above mentioned, and then some, but you cannot provide one of the most basic chivalrous deeds?
The same person who sent me the screen shot also sent me an image of a woman responding to his the status. Her response read, “See…this is the thing..Just because people you love taught you that stuff doesn’t make it less stupid…” See below for full response.
After reading her response, I was a bit agitated. Here’s my issue with her reply, like my friend Lachelle said too often we vilify the term because of the patriarch society we live in. The issue with gender roles is when it stunts people from pursuing who they are and career goals. For example, if a woman aspires to be historians, judges, and scientists, but are told that they aren’t suited for these positions because they are a woman, and should instead start having babies and stay at home, because that is what woman are suited for.
Ladies, when did we stop demanding the very basics for ourselves? (and when I say we I mean you). Yes, society is changing, and yes some traditions need updating, but basic ones like a man providing protection to a woman (not because she’s helpless but because you care about her) doesn’t need an update. This is one of the most basic acts that doesn't require much effort. As my roommate said, “Everything doesn’t need to change.”
Now if you don't care for it, I guess that's fine as long as you're demanding your worth (plus adding a little tax) in other ways. Ladies, just remember you get what you demand. If you don’t know your worth and demand it you will end up with a fuckboy who could careless.
Now, let me be clear. Gestures without good intentions doesn't mean shit. A guy should be a gentlemen in all facets of life, but can we at least not do away with the basics of chivalry?
And fellas, you do not have to adhere to one of the most fundamental gentlemen behaviors, but if showcasing a basic gesture is too strenuous it's a bit telling.