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Just Because She's Having Sex With You Doesn't Mean She Wants a Relationship

Just Because She's Having Sex With You Doesn't Mean She Wants a Relationship

Hey fellas, take a seat for some afternoon tea. We have lots to discuss. Quite often you dudes have a tendency to assume things are deeper than what they appear to be. Consider the movie He's Just Not That Into, which is an interconnecting story arc that deals with the challenges of women reading or misreading men's behavior. However, we never take the time to acknowledge when a man has committed those very crimes. While women are always looked upon as the emotional types, who are incapable of having casual sex with no emotions involved, there are a few savage souls who quite honestly has mastered the act.

For the talented tenth, I'm sure they'll agree when I say there is nothing more obnoxious than a man assuming the woman he is currently having sexual relations with wants more than just sex. Now I know, we women are extremely talented in the flirting department. We can easily make you feel like you are the only guy we're crushing on, involved with, seeing, etc. when that is far from the truth. You may be the only guy she is sexually active with, but you are far from being the guy she has an emotional connection with, no matter how many emojis you've received. Quite often, sorry ladies for dishing the dirt, the casual sex guy is needed simply for the sex or to help us move on from a devastating breakup. Don't believe me? Here are a few examples.

There was this one dude I met one night got drunk and fuck. I woke up and he was in my bed (I don't remember none of this) and we woke up got busy and then that was really it for me. He called and showed up at my location because he noticed my location on Instagram. I was so turned off and every time he saw me he would grip me up and act like we were together. Till this day he messages me on Facebook asking when I will come and visit and to call him.” –Anonymous

I once met a guy I thought was super cute. Not my typical guy but still very handsome. The night we met I just had a devastating exchange of text messages and recall my friends saying you just need someone new to occupy your time. And that's exactly what I met—someone new to occupy my time. We ended up having sex and I didn't call. Eventually he began to communicate via texts and I said to myself okay here's a new guy to distract me from my reality, which is loving and missing my most recent ex but deciding if he is the guy I should marry and spend my life with or purse the guy I dated prior to the ex who I also still unfortunately loved to my core and never had a chance to deal with those feelings. In no way shape or form did I even have the emotional capacity to let that guy in. However, texts told a different story. I did text him and say I haven't had a crush in a while, which was true he was cute and I had a crush but it truly wasn't that deep. Anyway he ruined the casual sex, which was only twice, when he sent me a dramatic text assuming I wanted more. Now I was flabbergasted and laughed so hard I cried. Like bruh, I just met you I never even asked personal questions for you to assume I even cared about you like that. In fact, if he received a call or text it was only in between or after I had spoken to one of the two dudes I actually cared about. I didn't even save his number B.  He gave me a good chuckle though.  Now I'll admit my text messages were very flirtatious, but what did he expect? I was told I am the accidental flirt, along the lines of ‘Oh gosh did I do that? You'd almost think I meant it’ and clearly they always do think I mean it. Silly rabbits.”- Anonymous

I used to fuck with a dude in Atlanta that was purely for sex. I liked his penis, he had a comfortable little loft down the street from me in little five and always smoked me out so it was chill. However, he had been talking to another girl at the same time and I guess they became official or whatever but he was to ‘afraid to hurt my feelings’ and didn't tell me till I found out he had a girl. I was fucking livid. Not because he had a girl but because he didn't give me the chance or respect to decide if I wanted to continue fucking him knowing this information. He claimed he didn't want to lose me but I had to keep it real funky with him and let him know there was nothing there to be got damn kept because I purposely never had a "What we doing?" conversation simply because I only wanted sex and that's it, keeping the conversation to an absolute minimum.  Like he showed up at my job once when I was a waitress with his friend talking about this my girl and shit. I had to pump his breaks so quick I really got mad like what are you doing here bruh. He tried it, ASSUMING that any girl fuckin him wanted to be WITH him when in reality, I rolled better blunts than him and he was a horrible kisser.”- Anonymous

I started dating this guy around my age (25) he seemed like a great guy, great job, his own crib and I started to get to know him better. We had things in common but there was always something lacking — it was missing that spark. So my plan, since he was a good looking guy at least, was to just have him as a fuck buddy to pass time. After a few weeks we eventually slept together and boy oh boy was that sexual encounter the most disappointing one I've ever had. I left in the morning, he asked if I wanted to get breakfast I lied and said I was late for something and had to go. Based on my abrupt leave I figured he would never hit me up again, but I was wrong. He would contact my friend and say he wanted to make me his girlfriend. He also contacted me to meet at his house to ‘cook and chill’ saying he bought new pots and pans that I could use since he didn't have any before. I don't know who he thought was doing the cooking but it wasn’t going to be me. After a few ignored Snapchats, calls, and texts he eventually left me alone... At Least I hope.” – Anonymous 

Written by Nikki Shariee

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