#TBT Meet Mr. 'Sloppy Toppy' aka the First Guy to Introduce Me to Oral Sex
Young women are often taught to be gracious. You know those stereotypical gender behaviors — some subtle, some not so subtle. Sit with your legs crossed, let the man pursue you, don’t sleep around or you’ll be considered a whore — that kind of thing. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie once said in her TEDxEuston called We Should All Be Feminists, “We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.” So let’s just say neither sex nor oral sex was a priority for me, until I met P.
It was an unseasonable warm September day. I had just commenced my junior year of high school. I remember vividly what I was wearing: a white Lacoste polo top, navy blue skirt from the Gap and blue pinstripe Vans. I recently cut my hair into a bob, which became the first of many haircuts. Little did I know that particular day would be the day I met the guy who would not only introduce me to oral sex, but also go on to obliterate my heart into a million tiny pieces, but let’s get back to the sex part.
P and I met at my older cousin Kevin’s apartment, located in East Flatbush, Brooklyn. Upon entrance, I noticed a young man with his hair braided, rocking an orange t-shirt and denim jeans. Neither did I nor did he speak. My eyes followed his every movement like a lion preying on a gazelle. I recall only staying in the apartment for a little more than 30 minutes. A physical sensation of craving and the desire to focus my attention on this particular person became too overwhelming for my 16-year-old self to bear. My cheeks became flushed, heart rate increased, my hands were a sweaty mess and it was the first time I knew what vaginal lubrication felt like (basically I was wetter than a rainforest). Yes, I had it bad for this complete and utter stranger. I wanted to know him. No scratch that I NEEDED to know him. Luckily for me, he felt the same way and in weeks he became my boyfriend.
At 27, I cannot recall our first time, but I will never forget the first time he performed oral sex on me. I remember taking the B46 home from school. He was at the bus stop waiting for me. It was a warm fall day and I was rocking a skirt, which left some of my thighs fully exposed. We walked hand in hand to his house where we would hangout, and of course have sex. Downstairs in his home, he set the mood with our song “Feel So Good” by Remy Ma featuring Ne-Yo. As he undressed me, I felt his lips leave a trail of kisses. However, this time it was in the opposite direction of my lips. Well, they were headed towards a pair of lips just not the ones on my face. Inside I was having a panic attack. For the life of me I couldn’t remembered if I showered. I wondered what I smelled like down there. I wondered if it would be a pleasant smell. Friends often discussed queefing during sex and I fretted I would be so nervous I would queef or even fart in his face. Once I felt him licking, kissing and massaging my inner thighs all of that bullshit went out the window. It was a form of foreplay I had never experienced and he hadn’t even reached the bull’s eye. Finally, he dived right into the main course. I felt his tongue stroking my lady parts. It was a soft, wet touch and his enthusiasm made it even better. I was squirming from all the pleasure that I was receiving from a secret erogenous zone I never knew I had. It’s safe to say that day I experienced my first orgasm and it became the best day of my sexual life.
As I got dressed, he suggested one important thing to me. With a smirk on his wet face, he said, “You shouldn’t use so much baby powder down there.” Even writing this today I literally laughed out loud. I thought baby powder would keep me fresh, but there I was half naked having my boyfriend teach me how to care for my vagina. P soon became known as sloppy toppy, a nickname coined by a close friend. The sex was amazing, but the oral sex was a mind-blowing, eye-opening, life-changing, mind-altering experience and I would never be the same.
That day I learned two very important things: 1. How a woman should feel when a man knows the anatomy of her body and what makes her tick sexually. 2. How detrimental baby powder can be to a woman’s vaginal health.
P would go on to be in and out of my life for the next eight years and we would continue to have numerous rendezvous along the way.
This is the first installment of The Prim & Perverse’s weekly sex diaries series. Check back every Thursday for another exciting, life-changing and sometimes embarrassing throwback sexual tryst.
Written by Nikki Shariee
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