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Must-Read: Fellas, Here Are Some Major Keys to What Women Really Want, According to Pastor A.R. Bernard

Must-Read: Fellas, Here Are Some Major Keys to What Women Really Want, According to Pastor A.R. Bernard

One of Brooklyn’s most renowned religious leaders A.R. Bernard, who is the senior pastor at Christian Culture Center (CCC) in Brooklyn, N.Y., stopped by The Breakfast Club this morning to discuss his book, Four Things Women Want From a Man. As a member of CCC, I was delighted to hear Pastor Bernard share the word on such a multifaceted and multicultural platform as The Breakfast Club.

Whether you are religious, spiritual or not, the gems dropped this morning are absolutely necessary to cling to. If you don’t believe me consider this: he has been married 46 years, he has seven sons and 21 grandchildren.  So millennials, it’s safe to say he knows a thing or two regarding relationships, marriage and family. See below.

On men becoming a kind of man a woman wants…

“When men become the kind of man that a woman could respect and admire, it really liberates her to be the woman she was intended to be. When that is not the case then the woman quite often has to take on a certain persona that is really inconsistent with who she was designed to be.”

On women not knowing what they want…

“You know the conversation. [Man] are you hungry baby? [ Woman] Yea I’m hungry. [Man] what would you like to eat? [Woman] I don’t know. [Man] What would you like to eat? [Woman] let’s find something. [Man] where would do you want to go eat? [Woman] I don’t know.  [Man] let’s go to such and such restaurant. [Woman] No, I don’t want to go there. So women don’t know what they want, but they do know what they don’t want. And if they know what they don’t want then they really do know what they want, but haven’t taken the time to articulate that.”
So how are men suppose to know what you are wondering?
Well Pastor Bernard responds, “You take maturity, which is the first and foundational one of the four things [of the four things women want, which is maturity, decisiveness, consistency and strength]. So maturity is foundational and when a woman says to a man, ‘I just wish you would grow up.’ He has no idea what she is talking about so he can try to interpret that and translate that into some need for machismo and strength, but that’s not what she is talking about…..Maturity does not come with age that comes with accepting responsibility so when a man is willing to accept responsibility for his words, his thoughts, his motives, his actions and his attitude, now he is on the road to maturity.”

On men and women and their decision-making process…

 “I think the dynamics of a women and a man in decision-making is totally different. Men tend to be quite analytical and logical and linear. Women tend to be very intuitive and come to conclusions without an ABCDE reference to it and often their conclusions are accurate.”

On women and their value in the eyes of their partner…

“Women are always reflecting on the value that they have in the eyes and mind of the man that they’re with. If he engages in behavior that devalues her she’s going to feel that she is now competing with all those other things that he’s putting first before her. Sociologically speaking one of the biggest complaints that lead to divorce besides the lost of respect is inequity in the relationship. If one person feels that they’re putting all into the relationship and the other person isn’t that’s inequity and there’s going to be tension in the relationship. So if she’s putting all into the relationship and I’m putting all into something else then she’s going to feel a vacuum of void in the relationship.”

One spending time…

“It’s not the amount of time, it’s what you put into the time. So you can have a small amount of time, but if you make that quality time and give that woman a quality experience that can go a long way to allow you to take the time necessary in order to work. Too often we don’t do that and men tend to feel the need to keep their word to people outside their family because their family should understand, but the reality is no the family should be the first place of demonstrating consistency and integrity."

Watch the entire interview below, you won't regret it I promise.


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