Here's How to Handle Running Into Your Ex Like a Pro
Much like an earthquake, hurricane or tsunami, running into an ex-boo happens when you least expect it. It’s a moment you prepare for in your head over and over, but you are never actually prepared when it happens. Let me explain.
Roughly two years ago, I was dating a guy, who was a mutual friend as well as a friend of my ex-boyfriend. Yes, I know, I broke code. By any means necessary I wanted to get over my ex, so any guy I dated at the moment was often part of the hit list, so to speak. I dated a plethora of guys. This guy in particular, who we will refer to as L, seemed pretty cool. As a result of having mutual friends, we often hung out. It was the perfect situation, at least so I thought.
After a few weeks, whatever we had began to get messy. Our mutual friends often had front row seats to an ugly situation. If you asked me, we were dating, we had become intimate, we shared real and honest feelings about things occurring in our life. I was not in love, but simply enjoying the company of someone. However, his version was completely and utterly different. He often told his friends that we did not hang out, we were not intimate and basically lied about everything. When I finally got whiff of this from a mutual friend, I was obviously baffled. We are all adults here, no need to lie Craig. The icing on the cake was finding out L told my ex-boyfriend that we had been intimate, after lying to his friends about being intimate (he’s such a contradiction). Immediately, I heard Drake rapping, “Niggas talk more than bitches these days (Just let that shit sink in).” Eventually, whatever we had ended and I stopped communicating with all parties, mutual friends included.
Fast forward two years later. I met one of our mutual friends for a happy hour. About an hour later, L appears. I was unwilling to concede to his presence. After all his malicious comments, I long decided I would never again acknowledge him. I sipped my cocktail and enjoyed the company of my friends. Not once did I look his way. The next day I received a text message from our mutual friend.
I read the above text messages and chuckled. If this part of my life was a soundtrack, we would cue “Needed Me” by Rihanna.
"Shit, what the fuck you complaining for?
Feeling jaded huh?
Used to trip off that shit I was kickin' to you
Had some fun on the run though I give it to you
But baby, don't get it twisted
You was just another nigga on the hit list”
You can say that I'm a bitch for laughing, but after all of his lies, I deserved a chuckle. While I did anticipate that one day he'll acknowledge how he royally screwed up, I mean most men always do, I could not imagine he would feel this "sick," as his best friend put it. It’s quite enjoyable to revel in his misery. After all he was a douchebag.
I truly could careless, but the bitch in me wanted to reply, "Didn't they tell you that I was a savage? F your white horse and a carriage."
The take away? Ladies, running into an old flame, especially if you have mutual friends, is inevitable. However, it does not have to involve any dramatics. Here are a few tips to handle the run-in.
Don’t be petty. Pettiness always indicate there are still unresolved feelings. Whether it’s hatred or love, behaving petty is below you.
If you do not want to speak, then don’t. One thing I will never excuse is someone who is a blatant liar, and L is certainly that individual. Once you cross a certain line with me there is no coming back. I don’t hate him, but I certainly will never give him the pleasure of uttering a word to him. And you know what? It’s okay. Not speaking is okay. The bible says you should forgive an individual, but that does not mean you need to invite him or her back into your personal space. It’s your personal space and you must protect it by any means necessary.
His or her presence should not disturb your peace. The best revenge is happiness. Continue being your authentic happy self. Don’t force it, just be you. When L appeared at the bar, I didn’t flinch. His presence did not disturb my peace. I remained calm and continued to smile, because no one should have that power.
Look good AF. Let’s be honest, there is no greater feeling than seeing that old thang when you’re looking good AF — not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. Looking good AF is that aura of confidence. Nothing is quite sexier than a confident woman who is content with her self and is completely unbothered and unmoved by another individual.
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