The dire question women want to know is: why do men cheat? Below is a Q&A with a man—whose identity will not be disclosed—revealing why he committed adultery, how his decision effected his marriage and more.
How was your marriage prior to your infidelity?
It was actually normal. Had some rocky bumps, but nothing major that couldn't be worked out. We would have conversations about concerning issues, but no conclusions. It kind of was swept under the rug. Either we were too busy or figuring it out wasn't important enough to prolong the conversation.
What caused you to step outside your marriage?
It was lack of good moral character and integrity. Two valuable character traits I have failed to develop over the years. At the root of it all was selfishness, just a plain inconsideration for the feelings and emotions of the other person, which is never good for any type of relationship or marriage.
What was it about the other woman?
Nothing really, just an easy prey. She was someone with low standards, who was willing to accommodate the situation. When you are acting out of a selfish desire it seems like a good idea for 10 minutes or so, but then you “sober up” and do not wish to be with the person long-term.
Do you regret your choice? What have you learned from it?
Yes, I regret every moment, every conversation, all of it. It makes you feel like crap. I have learned that if you have a challenge (or weakness) look for caring, positive people to support you and help you through it. Do not try and conquer the challenge on your own, because you may make one stupid decision after the other.
Are you sorry for your choice or that you got caught?
I did not get caught, I confessed. So yes, I’m sorry for my choice, especially when you realize you have sacrificed a whole lot for nothing. The person you are with is normally already all you need, but when you’re acting on pure selfish desires, you forget this.
If you could tell your soon-to-be ex-wife anything what would it be?
I am sorry. You did not deserve any of this hurt or pain. You did not do anything wrong. I was totally out of line and I should have tried harder to make things right. You are a very special person and deserve better. I know I have lost the right to say it, but I do love you with all my heart. I am very sorry.
What advice would you give other men who are:
A. Considering stepping outside their marriage
Get support from people you trust to help you work out the issue(s) in your marriage. If that fails, then be honest that you do not want to be in the marriage anymore and make an amicable split. The outside person is not offering as much as you think, if s/he know you are married and cheats with you, the possibility exists s/he will also cheat on you...just saying...
B. Who have actually stepped outside their marriage
Come clean. Things have a way of revealing themselves in the most awkward times. Be a man, save the embarrassment, face the music and deal with the consequences. Think of how it would be if she hid it from you or if someone did that to your mom or sister?
C. Those who will jump the broom in the near future
Grow up before you make a commitment. Develop good morals, good character and integrity. Connect with people who are progressive and trying to do the right thing with their lives. Keep away from users, those who promote selfishness and under handed thinking, including family. Get good advise and counsel. Do not lie to yourself. Treat people the way you want to be treated.
It is often said men are less likely to stay if the roles were reverse, so if the roles were reverse what would you do?
A. If you guys were "happy"
I would leave.
B. Under the same circumstances
I would leave.
I know it sounds bad, but I really would. Even it is for a time and then reconcile after. I would need a break to figure out what happened, why it happened, how to prevent it again, what is wrong with me, why am I not good enough, etc. I would need to leave for a period of time.
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