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When is it Time to Stop Trash Talking Your Ex?

It is no secret reality royalty Rob Kardashian was unfaithful to singer turned talk show host Adrienne Bailon. The two dated nearly six years ago and candidly showcased their affection in seasons two and perhaps three of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” Viewers also watched as the love affair fizzled and gawked at the TV screen while Rob tried desperately to win Adrienne back.

Most recently, Adrienne covered the September issue of Latina magazine. For some strange reason the 4-foot-11-inche beauty was compelled to discuss a relationship that ended almost six years ago. I’m a big Adrienne Bailon fan. From 3LW to Cheetah Girls, I always thought she was absolutely gorgeous and very down to earth. Last year Adrienne Bailon made an appearance at my church (read post here) while promoting “I’m In Love With A Church Girl” with rapper Ja Rule. While most industry heavy-hitters rarely—if ever—discuss their relationship with God, here Adrienne is an outspoken child of God

Adrienne Bailon graces the cover of Latina magazine.

Adrienne Bailon graces the cover of Latina magazine.

However, after reading the interview I may have to take Adrienne off my pedestal, so to speak. The 30-year-old not only trash talks Rob, but also seems to be attempting to light a fire that has fizzled years ago. Now I’m petty. Like seriously, petty! I completely understand analyzing, assessing and venting. When someone is dishonest, disloyal and ultimately hurtful it takes some time to heal. Venting is without a doubt part of the healing process, but when should you cease fire?

I’m very disappointed in Adrienne. I held her at a higher standard and to read things such as:

  • “He strategically planned things out so that he could cheat on me, and that to me was so disloyal.”
  • “To this day, people will still say, ‘You ruined Rob’s life!’ and I’ll think, Damn, I was still playing with Barbie dolls when I met him.

All I could ponder is girl get over yourself! Like come on, the relationship ended approximately six years ago. I’m sure you have upcoming projects you could be promoting and using this coverage to portray yourself in a positive light. But instead you choose to kick Rob while he is at a low point in his life.

I’m not saying she is not allowed to have those feelings, but why voice it? What are you getting out of capitalizing off another person’s misery? You are doing to him exactly what he did to you. And if you were truly happy wouldn’t you only want to share your happiness, rather than negativity? Most importantly, as a child of God the Bible says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother” or even better “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.”

I say all this to say after about a year, let alone, six years it’s time to stop the trash talking. It only makes you look trivial and mean.

If you ever find yourself continually venting about an individual who has trespassed against you remember my voice and ask yourself these questions:

  • What are you getting out of voicing negativity?
  • What is a better way you can address your pain?
  • Is it worth it?

Follow me on Twitter|@NikkiShariee

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