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Three Tips to Remember When An Individual Admits to Dating Your On-Again, Off-Again Partner

Last night, the ninth episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta aired. During the last 10 minutes of the show, we watched Kandi host a girls night with sex expert Dr. Rachel. Among the attendees were NeNe, Cynthia, Porsha, Phaedra, Kenya, two of Kandi’s friends and newcomers Claudia Jordan and Demetria McKinney. Dr. Rachel asks everyone to go around and talk about their relationship history. NeNe talks about her marriage to Greg, Porsha mentions a Nigerian boyfriend and Demetria talks about her eight-year on-again-off-again relationship with Roger Bobb. President and CEO of Bobbcat Films a film and television production company based in Atlanta.

Gocha, Kandi’s friend, probed Demetria about her relationship to Bobb. Following a couple of questions, Gocha revealed she also dated Bobb two Novembers ago. Allegedly, Bobb was intimate with Demetria while dating Gocha. She also stated, according to Bobb, Demetria was “just his artist.” Demetria does not take this revelation quite well. She grabs her purse and exits the room.

When you’re in an on-again, off-again relationship hearing about a past fling may be unsettling, especially when the dates correspond to when you are involved with your partner. So what should one do if an individual finds him or herself in this particular situation? Here are three things to remember.

  1. Maintain a calm and cool demeanor. If you want to inquiry more from the individual, it’s essential you remain calm. S/he more than likely will not divulge more information to a crazed person.
  2. Don’t let s/he see you sweat. Don’t allow this new information to disrupt your mood. If the news happens to knock the wind out of you, so to speak, don’t allow it to get the best of you.
  3. Don’t address your concerns with the individual. Whether you ‘re knowledgeable about this past relationship or not, it’s not the individual you should address. If you’re upset about being caught off guard, you should address your significant other. S/he is the one who withheld information from you.

If you are feeling insecure about your partner’s past love life, more than likely your insecurity is not about his or her past. There is probably an additional concern you are not addressing. Get to the root of the problem and move forward.

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