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The Three C's of Relationships Are….

We’re seven months into 2014 and I’m sure many of you have failed to follow through with your New Year resolutions. Last Sunday Pastor A.R. Bernard discussed taking a moment to assess whether or not you have fulfilled any of the goals set for 2014. He called this a “mid-course correction.” Though he related this mid-course correction to career and success, I thought to myself the guidelines mentioned can be applied to one’s pursuit of a relationship.

According to Pastor Bernard, when you think of a leader he/she should contain three things: character, chemistry and competence. Character describes how an individual think, feels and behave. It’s a set of qualities, whether it’s a person’s temperament, mentality makeup, disposition, etc. Chemistry is the complex emotional and  psychological interaction between two individuals. Lastly, competence is the ability to efficiently carry out a task. All three features are vital to discern if someone has the same vision as you. It’s a way to weed out the person who is not analogous to you.

All three attributes are necessary to assess whether or not the individual should be employed to occupy a position. I could not help but think if men and women used all three traits to evaluate if this person is worthy of holding the title of significant other, perhaps we’d all make better decisions. Using the three C's, as I eloquently like to call them, is a way to improve your decision-making, which ultimately enhances the quality of your life.

And finally, another valuable quality you should look for is resilience. Resilience is having the knack to bounce back. This is critical for life, and especially relationships. Having the skill to pull through hardship and challenges of a relationship will determine how strong your bond is/will be and if you can ultimately share your life together.

I urge you to ask yourself the same questions Pastor Bernard ask, which are “When this person meet the inevitability of opposition and challenges will he/she quit? Or will he/she bounce back?”

To Sum It Up

  • Understanding the character, chemistry and competence of yourself and your prospective significant other will help you determine how deep your bond will be.
  • Resilience or lack thereof will help you comprehend if you and this individual can overcome all the lemons life will throw at both of you.
  • Enhancing your decision-making process and being aware of who you allow in your life will improve the quality of your life.

P.S. Don't forget to do your mid-course assessment/correction.


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