As we continue to celebrate National Masturbation Month, I tapped friend of the blog and licensed certified sex expert Moushumi Ghose to share her picks on sex toys, lube and more. Moushumi, who goes by Mou, like myself, is an advocate for sexual freedom. See what she had to say below.
What are the best sex toys for amateurs who have never used a sex toy?
For women, the best first sex to—hands down—would be a vibrator. This is also great for women who are trying to learn how to orgasm or have never experienced an orgasm. I think vibrators are a must-have for every woman. It is important for women to learn how to please themselves and not rely on others. A common belief of women is that they're partner should make them cum, which is not always the case.
If someone is well versed in sexy toys, what are the best toys you would suggest?
This is an interesting question. For men and women, the first toys that come to mind are an anal play toys, such as butt plugs, and anal beads. Though this is not everyone's cup of tea, a more experienced player will enjoy the exploration, at the very least, while others will love the anal stimulation, and for men the prostate stimulation. The key here is to start small, go slow, and work up to the bigger sizes.
What are staple sex toys everyone should have whether well-versed or not?
Staple sex toys: Definitely a vibrator is a must-have, not just women, but men should have these on hand too. If you have a lady over or a girlfriend it helps to show her that his pleasure is just as important as yours. Also, I'd recommend some form of restraints for some light bondage, such as blindfolds, or leather handcuffs (the metal handcuffs can hurt a little, and are not as fun for everyone.) Other fun things to keep around are nipple clamps; cock rings, and for those into anal play, butts plugs. Don't forget the condoms and lube. Dildos are also good. Keep a few around in different sizes.
Is lubrication necessary? If so what kind of lubrication?
Lube is your friend. Don't feel ashamed or shy to have some lube around. I suggest keeping a tube of your favorite in your sex tool kit at all times. Or better yet, keep a few different kinds around for different purposes.
I know there are water-based, silicon-based, etc., which one is best and why?
The drugstore shelves are stocked with three types of lube: water-, silicone-, and oil-based. Water-based is the most common, but dries out the quickest—so don’t throw out the others just yet. It is important to remember that some women are more susceptible to infection, or even have allergies to lubes which are oil- and silicone-based. Plus, both men and women can react badly to certain chemicals, like glycerin and paraben, so your best bet is to opt for chemical-free or organic lubes to be safe. Some brands are Sliquid, AloeCadabra, Pjur, OrganicLoven. Stay away from KYJelly! They typically contain glycerin and paraben. I would also skip fancy flavored lubes, and those two-in-one massage oil and lube types. Stick to simple, and chemical free!
Also too much lube is a thing too. All you need is a nickel size, or the condom might slip off, and the sheets can get too gooey. Not fun.
Condoms: It is a good idea to use lube with condoms. Never use oil-based lubricants with latex condoms. The oil causes latex to deteriorate and can ultimately make the condom burst. Stick to water- or silicone-based lubes, which are safe for all condom types. Also beware the pre-lubricated condom, they often are lubed up with mystery lube which might be contain those harsh unwanted chemicals such as paraben and glycerin. Opt for some organic vegan condoms and get your own lube. Check out organicloven.com.
No Condom: If you’re skipping the protection because you’re in a monogamous relationship and have confirmed you’re both STD-free, go vagina-friendly and preferably organic, and in this case oil based is fine. When you're in pinch some organic coconut oil is good.
Toys: Silicone-based lubes will cause silicone toys to break down and disintegrate. So, water-based is best for the rubber toys. Also these cause the least irritation overall.
Masturbation: You're free to explore. Soap, lotion, coconut oil. Steer clear of anything with weird chemicals in it, though. Go for oil-water-or silicone based organic chemical-free lubes and you'll be good to go.
Stay tuned for part two where Mou shares her favorite toys and why. Follow her on Twitter at @MoushumiAmour
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