Let me explain.
One of my best girlfriends has a friend who has not made the smartest decisions lately. This particular young lady is currently in a situationship (NOT relationship) with a guy who is not only disrespectful, but also display warning signs of an abuser. Now, my girlfriend and I are direct, no nonsense kind of gals who would not allow this kind of behavior in our life. My friend who we’ll call friend B, so I can protect her friend’s identity, is baffled by the way her friend is handling, well not handling, the situation and is unsure of what she can do to help.
Now let’s explore some of the abusive tendencies this guy is displaying.
- He has trashed her room damaging some of her belongings
- He often takes her car leaving her immobile
- He keeps her secluded ensuring she further isolates herself from the people who are truly worried about her well-being
- He is controlling
- He participates in blame-shifting behavior
There are times when the friend has an inkling of revelation and realizes she is in over her head. Recently, she has considered moving back to her hometown. Returning home perhaps is what she need. An opportunity to regroup and recuperate from the emotional and mental abuse is indeed necessary; however, it’s a temporary fix for a long-term problem. The reality of it is this young lady is fragile and emotionally susceptible to mind control. Returning home will not fix the real issue, which is knowing her worth and not accepting a penny less. If she’s going to return home, she should also make the effort to understand why she has allowed this behavior in her life and what she can do to not settle again.
Friend B asked me what could she do to help, but the reality is not much. This young woman has to be ready to make the change for herself or the advice is falling on deaf ears.
So, I ask again what would you do if your girlfriend were in a troubled situationship/relationship? If you, or a friend, tolerated a similar situation how did you get past it?