As a teenager I was often referred to as “boy crazy.” I hated the term and remain repelled by it. To me it held, and still holds, a sort of derogatory sentiment. I never understood why it was okay for a male to have countless crushes, while a female was labeled promiscuous. Though the phrase “boy crazy” made me cringed, I never let it influence who I was and who I am today.
In high school I had a lineup. First there was Rob. Rob, at the time, was who I considered to be my first love. Rob was 5'7", dark chocolate complexion and resembled former Bad Boy artist Loon. Everything about his appearance made me melt. Then there was a basketball player. I could never remember his name, but I do remember his ringtone on my Sprint Sanyo picture phone (throwback). Following that athlete, there was another—Charles. We attended that same high school so it was easier to see him. I didn't have to rely on my default lie "I'm at the library," which wasn't far from the truth. I’m an avid reader so I often went to the library to find new literature to whisk me away, but I'll digress. There was Shamar. Shamar I truly liked, but, at the time, he was immature and within a year I would relocate for college. After several months, I found myself ending things with Shamar. Soon after, I began a love affair with Benjamin.
In between Rob, Charles, Shamar, my small stint with the other basketball player we'll call John Doe and before Benjamin, I met Patrick. Patrick, who I refer to as my modern day version of James Dean, would go on to have a major role in my life for the next eight years.
I met many of these handsome specimens between the ages 15 to 17-years-old. They all taught me a lot about myself, and the male species as a whole. I went on a number of dates, but I was not sexual active with any of these guys for quite a while. I learned at a very young age, and from a slew of women in my family, you did not have to share your most precious gift until you felt the individual deserved it. I took my time. I let each individual court me. I was vocal about what they did right and what they did wrong. Perhaps it was my confidence or the fact I never wanted to reflect on my teenage years and realized I spent most of it pining after one guy, but I made the decision to always have fun. I mean if guys could do it, why couldn’t I?
This column will take you through the first chapter of my life, the many trysts and the lessons learned.