It’s a late fall night. Summer hasn’t completely left the atmosphere. Though it’s October, there is still a warm breeze. The current temperature is a comfortable 70 something degrees. I saunter carefully into New York City streets. By this time I’ve had a few drinks and two shots. I feel nice, but still well aware of my surroundings. I nervously wait for the 6-train. Of course I’m heading uptown. He left his friends at a party and I did the same. My mind is in disarray. I’m nervous. I’m scared. I’m excited. I know tonight is the night.
As I reminisce about our first time I can’t help but laugh. Women talk a lot of crap. We exude the upmost confidence but if guys ever knew how nervous we are during the first time, they’d be stunned.
*Quick tip: Fellas here’s a little secret a woman ALWAYS know when she’s ready to get intimate with you. However, what you do or do not do will determine if it actually happens. *
Back to the subject at hand, I remember pondering a slew of questions like what is he thinking? how do I look? I am by far NOT the only woman who has these thoughts. When myself or any of my girlfriends begin a sexual relationship with someone new there are a million thoughts running through our minds. The most common ones among women I know, and even through random conversation with women at bars, are:
- What is he thinking as this is happening?
- How do I look?
- How do I smell?
- Am I really good at this?
- Does he care how I’ve learned to be good at this?
When I or any of my gals have such questions I always refer to my clique of male friends or as I commonly refer to them my male masterminds. Every woman should have a circle of reliable men, not boys. A grown ass man, who know what he wants and is not afraid to go after it. A confident man willing to admit when the male species are failing at life. You know a grown ass man who handles his responsibilities. I am lucky enough to have a few of those guys in my life. I call on them for everything, from first date tips to moral support. After realizing how many women are generally curious about what guys are thinking during the first intimate moment, I decided it was time to get the inside scoop from my male masterminds. Brace yourself they can be a tad ignorant.
Here it goes
“The best thing to do is to make it good but make it good enough to get better. If a woman does give it up sick in the beginning of a relationship (3 months) I would think of her in some type of way and I'd be curious as to how she learned and whether she was a hoe in her past life or currently. If she smella, she will be made aware and I demand showers. You have to let people know and be honest. Females respect honesty.”-Chris aka Bad News Smooth
“When first interacting with a woman, be it in a relationship/situationship, I use a pessimistic looking glass. I find it easier to deal with your "lady" being more modest than a "freak". As far as the issue of an unpleasant fragrance, I would definitely inform her of it. She should already be aware if she's concerned about her hygiene at all, so I don't have any reservations with being honest. That also applies to participation in the act. If she's laying there semi-lifeless I'm definitely speaking up.
I'm not a fan of fingers or anything for that matter near my butt. I'm not into the "tossing salad" or nipple licking either. If she lets me release in her mouth I can't take us serious. Some things are supposed to be reserved for marriage.
For most men, we aren't thinking about the how and when until after intercourse because most of our attention is on the current situation. That leans to the concept that men are more physically stimulated than their female counterparts, who are more mentally driven.
Depending on how old the woman is I grade how well, in my opinion, she should be at a specific sexual act. If she's 20 and performing oral like a 40 year old, I'm definitely raising a few questions after the mood settles. Most times I don't care if you look good during sex. If your face is awkward or body contorted I take that as a good sign. It means we're both headed in the right direction.”-Charlie Da Gawd
And lastly …
“Ever bought a kid Legos (I know its not 1994) and you think what the hell is this kid going to do with these weird pieces? But you buy it and the kid goes bananas. Why? Because just like the kid and Legos, men look at this lady as a bunch of pieces they can mold and create and the POTENTIAL is endless. POTENTIAL is key word. POTENTIAL is what keeps you from being a side hoe to on the wretched pedestal (that I hate). The possibility that you might be something BETTER keeps every guy interested. All the other women show the best they can do and I been there done that. When that kid sees the Lego kit, every time you've told him no, he made that crap. Disney world? No. I’m BUILDING that crap with my Legos. Car? No. I’m BUILDING that crap with my Legos. The fact is no one gets what they want in life, but you can BUILD it off POTENTIAL. While Guy 1 may LOVE that the woman only participated in oral sex with her ex-boyfriend, reserved and even has a DESIRE to learn, Guy 2 may thrive off the fact she has a potential to do it but if she doesn't live up to that practice part OFTEN she may lose his attention. She needs to dangle the head as a prize for good behavior. He will enjoy the control and power of molding her.
Both are ready for their seats on the throne on where they can mold this young lady to how they want it. It’s 2014 there is barely anything we can’t get customized. Why would we not want our spouses customized to our liking? Again it’s 2014 and we all have the POTENTIAL TO BUILD."ALL KINGS GET THERE HEADS CUT OFF"-Basquiat ; why did I quote that you ask? Because it’s off a painting and I wanted to trick people to think I was cultured just how Jay-Z does it!”-Marcus
So what we’ve learned here ladies is:
1. Potential is key
2. Don’t be too good just yet
3. Make sure your hygiene is taking care of
Three is obvious but from stories I’ve heard about women we have to make it as clear as possible.
Most importantly DO NOT forget the condoms. Safe sex is the best sex!