God designed women to be capable, intelligent, virtuous beings, far more valuable than rubies. Of course, it’s of no surprise that women are creatures who adore being adored, loves being pampered and demands to be the only lady in their lad’s life.
Women want to be wooed. We want a man to tell us, as well as show us, how he feels. I mean what good are anyone’s words without action? However, there are rules to wooing us. When you court a woman it should be in stages. As Meek Mills so eloquently stated, “There’s levels to this sh**.” There are things we want to hear at different points in our relationships, situationships, etch, but NOT on the first date.
Let Me Explain
I met this really handsome fellow. Brown smooth skin, chinky eyes, about 5’5”, well-spoken and when he smiled I melted. In a nut shell, I was infatuated. I guess the feeling was mutual. He not only rode the 4-train to Grand Central Station with me (when he was heading towards Lincoln Center, West 63 street), but also wanted to set a date right then and there. While my dearest male friend described him as thirsty, I thought it was a breath of fresh air. Here was a young man who set eyes on something he liked (me) and decided to pursue it.
The next day we had drinks and chatted. Now here’s when things became uncomfortable. He boldly expressed exactly what was going through his mind. At first his comments ranged from generic “I really like you” to super forward “I am going to make you my girlfriend.” Perhaps, I am just completely terrified to be someone’s girlfriend right now—honestly I am—but I felt a bit uneasy. Once the night concluded, he was a gentleman and rode the train all the way to Brooklyn to make sure I got home safe (FYI he lives by Lincoln Center). Cute I know. On our train ride home he said, “The ball is in your court.” *INSERT BLANK STARE HERE* At this point I’m baffled and I don’t know what to say. All I could think was slow down young fella I’ve only known you for 31 hours. Yes, I did the math. I said all of this to say: Everything he said was sweet; exactly what I would want to hear from someone I’ve been dating for several months—just NOT on the FIRST date.
Fellas pay attention. A woman wants you to express yourself. She wants to know where she stands in your life. She wants to be a priority, but she does not want it all in 31 hours of meeting you. Here are five things you should NOT utter on the FIRST date:
- I knew from the moment I saw you I wanted to make you mine. What do you think this is, a real life version of the Savage Garden song? Even if this is true and you believe in love at first sight, there are some females, like myself, who thinks BULLSH**. (If you haven’t heard “I Knew I Loved You” by Savage Garden please throw yourself down a flight of stairs)
- I have a gut feeling about this. Yes, me too and it’s making me uneasy.
- I really like you. Oh really?!? What do you really like? Because you barely even know me!
- You should let me plan your birthday. Um no! People who are in the right state of mind do not want to plan my birthday; I’m somewhat of a birthdayzilla. Only a crazy person (you) would be up for the task.
- Why don’t we skip the pleasantries and I make you my girlfriend tonight. Oh no thank you. I could be a psychotic stalker who preys on fools like you.
Jokes aside, these were the comments I endured—no exaggeration. Yes he was a gentleman, but this was just too forward for my liking.