A few weeks ago my best friend revealed to me her sex life is not what it once was. She's always tired, which ultimately has a negative effect on her libido. She not only works full-time, but also is a full-time graduate student. Between a full case load and a full course load, no wonder why she's exhausted. The women of today’s society have to balance a lot: career, family and love.
I, too, have a lot going on. A full-time grad student, a part-time grad assistant, managing editor of our sister site, Six Inches & Higher, and ultimately building my own brand, which is a 24-hour commitment—often sleepless nights.
On top of it all, we're both in committed relationships. So how do we balance school, work and our relationships? Here are five ways to be a rockstar girlfriend or boyfriend:
- Schedule designated days for your partner. I suggested she create designated days devoted to spending time with her boyfriend. I know many of you are thinking allocating a particular day for quality time or sex may take the fun out of it, but it’s better to have quality time then none at all. Assigning particular day(s) to your partner will reassure your partner that he/she is a priority in your life. Also, just because you know you’re going to have sex, doesn’t mean you cannot make it exciting. You can surprise the individual with role playing, sex toys or other kinky ideas. *wink wink*
- Do not slack off in the bedroom. Often when you’ve been with your partner for some time, we tend to become lazy lovers. The same excitement you had in the initial stages of your relationship should remain present, no matter how much time has passed. Ladies those freaky tricks you did to catch him, is the same freaky tricks he expects as time progresses. Vice versa fellas.
- Communication is key! I read on an Illinois university counseling center’s site, “The student partner may need to communicate that his/her partner’s needs and activities are important, too; that the impact of decisions on each person is significant; and that each person has dignity and worth as an individual. This positive context is especially important when working out possible sensitive ‘boundary issues’.” In laymen’s terms effectively communicate with one another what’s important so you guys can create a schedule that works for both parties.
- Understand one another’s expectations. On the same counseling site it stated, “Reduce or modify certain expectations as needed, and then learn how to establish fairly clear approaches and routines for fulfilling those readjusted expectations.” For example, if your partner expects to have sex four times a week, but realistically that cannot fit in your busy schedule, modify those expectations and come to a compromise. However, if next week you’ve realized you have more free time than anticipated then up the ante for that particular week. Ultimately, you are showing your significant other how important he/she is and that you care about meeting his/her needs.
- Have fun. Though a relationship takes dedication and hard work like a job, it should not feel like a job. The time you spend with your other half should be moments your cherish and anticipate, not dread.
If you have any tips that works for you and your spouse I want to hear them. Tweet me @NikkiShariee or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.