Not all heroes wear capes; some wear Best Buy shirts, says a member of the #LawrenceHive
Yes, we’re still talking about Insecure, and yes Black millennial men and women remain divided. Below is one millennial man's “think piece,” as he calls it, in response to women’s POV.
It has been two weeks since the season finale of almost every Black millennials new favorite show Insecure. I am sure you've seen the jokes, memes, and the newly formed #LawrenceHive. For the uninitiated, on the outside looking in, this show seems to cater to the women by mostly revolving around the protagonist Issa and her relationship. Nonetheless, the fellas could still enjoy this wonderful program despite the "niggas ain't shit" aura that haunts the narrative. More importantly, we (men) finally received a nice surprise when our unsung hero defiantly remembers his worth. Since then, well even before the finale, there have been quite a few think pieces from the ladies. They all have mulled over how Lawrence is at fault, reiterating Issa dealt with a lot + their disdain that we (men) are rallying behind him. Essentially, they called Lawrence a scrub. Well, I'd like to share some of my own personal thoughts on why I believe that Lawrence is in fact the hero that we all don't deserve but need.
First, please and I mean please stop using that ain't shit ex of yours as a proxy for Lawrence. He is not him. He is better than him. Going through the articles and tweets of women bringing up the four years of unemployment + his failure to pull his emotional weight. My response: we don't know exactly what happened in those four years. With ladies following with, "Well I've been there and it's draining when he's there not doing anything." Let’s keep in mind:
- This man was trying to get his app off the ground for four years.
- He was not just unemployed.
- He was still cashing unemployment checks.
As a former laid off super broke boy, I know personally unemployment does not last longer than a couple of months, let alone a couple of years. But as Tasha aka #Bankbae mentioned Lawrence had a savings account.
Ladies have repeatedly stated, "I don't condone Issa cheating... but" so I'd like to point out that I do not condone Lawrence messing up Issa's birthday and not being present in the relationship, but from that point on he genuinely made steps to better himself. The Best Buy Mark Morrison got a job by the third episode. You and your man were probably on season six, episode nine and he still didn't have a job (figuratively speaking). We aren’t going to even ask if he had a savings. Now that is baggage. You can’t compare Lawrence to that. However, ladies you have held onto that image because it reminds you of your past situations. This is where the debate about the guy with potential or even the idea of a “good guy” comes to play. I will be real with you all; a bunch of guys aren't shit. The thing is anyone can get lucky and be at the right place at the right time or know the right people. Be that as it may, real potential comes from within and moves outward with an idea and then plan. Sometimes, the timing isn't right (aka Lawrence not getting his app off the ground out the gate + getting in a rut). It happens, but he did have a plan in the first place. As he mentioned while working at the startup, he was further ahead than he initially thought. In that short period of Issa leaving, Lawrence got his act together + made changes on all ends. Now once again, I don’t know if she left multiple times before in those four years, but it honestly seemed like that was the first time. He seemed pretty caught off guard by Issa’s statements. It wasn’t the “Yea you leaving again but you’ll be back” response. So ladies who want to talk about Lawrence like he's your ex, how many times did you say you were over it and he still didn't get his shit together?
Which brings me up to my last point: we men are not, and I emphasize NOT mind readers. As much as we can know your heart we cannot read your mind. With that being said, tell us what's wrong. Stop with the he should know what he did comments. Like you tell us all the time, men are dumb! We also do get in our own heads and may not see the writings on the wall at first and realize what we are or aren’t doing. Maybe if Issa brought it up prior to instead of letting contempt build maybe Lawrence would have changed sooner. In fact, this was the same advice Molly tried to give her. In truth, speaking about your issues clearly instead of being passive-aggressive can help you figure out the ain’t shit fuckboy vs. the good guy with potential. Men mess up too ladies, but we saw how quickly Lawrence glowed up. I hate to reiterate, but how many times have you spoke to your man about getting it together or he told you he was going to change and he still didn’t. The real good guy will make that effort. Everything is timing so I can’t say your guy will get a job in two episodes but maybe he will make efforts where he can. Lawrence not only tried to but succeeded in doing better. He was even willing to take that next step and still got cheated on only to bounce back on the third day like the begotten son he is and hang his jersey in the rafters.
Lawrence is our savior and showed us men the light. There are so many lessons learned from the honorable prophet Lawrence, which is why ladies need to embrace the #LawrenceHive.
- I’ve learned that sometimes you have to fall back to move forward.
- You have to have a plan even, if you fail the first time you still need that vision and be ready to work when that the time presents itself.
- You also need to keep the checks coming when you can.
- Never mess up her birthday.