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3 Tips for Telling Someone About a Cheating Partner

3 Tips for Telling Someone About a Cheating Partner

I am not sure about you all, but I am a reality TV junkie. Since the rise of reality television programming, I probably have viewed almost every unscripted “real-life” series at least once. I’m sure we all will concur for the most part reality television is slowly and surely killing our intelligent brain cells. However, there are a number of things we can actually learn from observing these individuals “personal everyday life.”

One of the most reoccurring unscripted "real-life" situations always involves a female cast mate communicating rumors of another female cast mate spouse’s infidelity.  I’ve watched enough cat fights, arguments and cocktails fly across the table to have learn there is an art to handling this. For example, on episode four of WAGS: Miami, for those of you who don’t know WAGS stand for wives and girlfriends of sports stars (basically a better version of Basketball Wives), Hencha Voigt attempted to communicate information with Vanessa Cole about her boyfriend, who plays for the Baltimore Ravens and who she has two kids with. Let's be honest, Voigt was rude and insensitive with how she presented the alleged rumors to Cole. She clearly gives no f*%!s about Cole and her emotional wellbeing. 

Check out the clip below:


Yes, I know half of these women probably aren’t friends and they’re just placed together for the sake of ratings, but as women there is a code to handling rumors about someone's relationship. Here are three tips to keep in mind if you happen to hear information about a friend, mutual friend, and/or associate’s partner.

1.     If you do not have solid proof and by proof I mean incriminating images, text messages, some sort of physical evidence, keep your mouth shut. There is no need to raise a red flag until you have factual evidence. Take everything said with a grain a salt and conduct your research. In journalism school when a “primary source” comes to us with information, we are taught to explore our source’s motives. Our reporter instincts kick in and we ask ourselves questions:

                Is someone pushing their side of a story?

                Is there another side of the story?

                Why is someone pitching you this?

                What will the audience think of this story?

                What does this person hope to gain?

The same aforementioned questions can be applied to the rumors. Is this person pushing his or her side of the story (which may stem from rejection) and what do the individual hope to gain? Is there another side? Why is this person communicating this information with you? More importantly, what will the person on the receiving end think and how will this affect him or her? If this source continues to push a story on you and wants to get a message out there, it’s only fair to ask the individual why.

2.     Be sensitive with how you present your evidence. On every series/episode the person presenting the alleged rumors of one’s partner seems to always either blurt out the information during a group setting or state, “There is something I need to tell you alone.” Instead of saying that infamous sentence around a number of individuals, invite the person to lunch for a one-on-one. Simply put yourself in the person’s shoes. Would you want to hear heart wrenching information around a number of people?

3.      Ask yourself: Would I want to hear this information from that particular person, if the tables were turned? If your answer is no, then more than likely you should not be the one delivering the alleged news.

It is important to keep these tips in mind, because essentially you could possibly be ruining a person’s life. You don’t want to communicate gossip to find out the information was false.


Written by Nikki Shariee

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